The past 2 weeks have been pretty interesting around the Leman house. Everyone has gotten sick except for me, which I consider God's grace on us, because someone has to take care of these babes when they're sick (yes, I'm calling Tom a babe too!) Although I haven't written on here, I have written a significant amount in my journal. There's probably more content in there during this time, than there ever has, which has gotten me thinking about time and routine in general.
I found it so interesting and insightful that it took me being out of routine, feeling kind of flaky to the outside world, and being in my home more than normal to dive into writing more. I enjoyed it (the writing, not the sickness), and I really didn't care. I really had no desire to write on this blog for that time, but it was as if I was aching to jot down my thoughts and prayers each morning and each night (which I never do).
Maybe it's because I put no expectation on myself. Maybe it was because I had no routine. Maybe it was because life seemed so slow. Oh, I like that. I like the idea of a slow life. Lately, I've been choosing a "should life" instead of a "could life." I could do just about anything. I could cram my days and evenings full. I could scurry around my house constantly picking up. I could spend lots of time in every relationship. I could say yes to every invitation.
However, should I?
Shoo, that really changes it for me. I love dinner dates and activities and I am a total extrovert, but should I fill my time, our time, with it? I love a clean and orderly home. I like my systems and schedules, but should I spend my days cleaning every dust bunny\smeared piece of food\crumb up? I love being invited to something. Nothing makes me feel more loved than to be included or thought of for something. I want to say yes to it all, because I love people! But, I know I shouldn't, I can't.
Sometimes I must say I shouldn't when I really want to. It's been a new filter phrase for me. It's a new way of thinking for me, and I'm liking it (most of the time).